Writing Personal Ads

The headline – Your online personal is like an advertisement. And in this advertisement, you are the product. If your personal ad doesn’t sell a reader, he or she will breeze by it looking for a better model.

The key to creating a successful personal ad is your headline. It has to get a person’s attention, it has to do it in few words, and it has to do amidst a lot of other headlines. This is a lot to ask of a description that’s usually less than ten words. How do you do it? The key is to appeal to the other person’s interest.

Fact is, the person reading your headline doesn’t know you and can care less about you. They want to know what’s in it for them. So your personal ad’s headline — in very few words — has to show this person what’s in it for them. This is what gets the reader to decide to open your personal ad or to pass it by.

The trick is to play to the wants that are important to your target reader. In general, women seek honesty, security, sense of humor, confidence, someone who will make them feel sexy and special, physical attraction, and someone who will listen (when dealing with women, men can be pretty bad at this, so pick it up guys). So if you’re looking to appeal to a woman, headlines might be:

Get the love and attention you deserve

A man who will actually listen to you!

Secure man (or woman) with a sense of humor

Appealing to men works the same way: your personal ad’s headline should appeal to what a male prospect wants to find. Surveys on attraction typically show that “physical appearance” is more important to men than women. But men seek other things as well. About one in two men polled are looking for a serious relationship. This means you have a 50-50 chance whether you mention serious relationship or casual relationship.

In essence, when you design your personal ad’s headline, think of what the target prospect will want and promote it. And try to avoid some of the highly-common horrible personal ad headlines, which go like:

A friend made me do this

Tired of being miserable

Life sucks, look forward to hearing from ya

Don’t promote negativity, it’s not too appealing. That statement is common sense, of course, but there are negative headlines like these all over the personals. And the “friend made me do it” approach is lousy also. If we’re serious about meeting someone, would we want to waste our time and energy on a person who doesn’t seem serious about it?

If you have to use negativity, try to at least throw in some humor. I saw a personal ad headline which did this fabulously. It read: If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off. This has to make you laugh. And it has to make you think that this person has a creative sense of humor. Nonetheless, I still succeed far more frequently when my personal ad uses a headline that focuses on what the reader stands to gain.

When the headline is a bit less important – There will be some dating services that display search results with your headline and a small version of your picture. In this case, the headline’s value is a bit less important because your picture will also play a role in whether or not someone finds you appealing.

Your actual personal ad – Your headline got them in the door, your personal ad now has to generate a response. How do you do this? Once again, it comes back to telling the reader what’s in it for them. What are your favorable qualities? What does the reader stand to gain by getting to know you … by meeting you … by dating you?

If the reader doesn’t see the benefit of knowing you, why would they waste time writing you or contacting you?

Let them know what they stand to gain. Don’t be shy. Don’t under-value yourself. We all have majestic and wonderful qualities. Let people know about yours. Tell them what they stand to gain by having an awesome person like you in their life.

I usually make a list of my best qualities. Then, I prioritize them in order of what I think the reader will likely find most valuable. Then, I put them in the ad: “I am a great listener and I look forward to conversing with you and hearing your thoughts … I am adventurous and open-minded, and seeking someone whose thoughts and actions will broaden my views … and so on.”

I just told the reader that I will listen, that communication is important to me, and that I welcome and look forward to their feedback. I also did so while stating what I’m looking for.

In too many ads, the person is totally caught up in what they want: “I want someone who is between 5’11″ and 6′ tall, 187.2 pounds, and makes AT LEAST $900,000 a year.” Most people read ads like that and think, Who cares? Of course, that example is overboard, but a good percentage of ads are like that. Avoid that route. Tell people what you’re looking for. But also let them know what they stand to gain. I write my ads this way and I have had immense success.

More Basics on writing Your Personal Ads

Show don’t tell. For example, it is much more effective to use humor in your ad rather than just saying “I have a sense of humor”. Show that you are an educated and intelligent person through interesting word choice, clear ad structure, and colorful and creative descriptions.

Creativity counts. A personal ad can take many forms. A poem, perhaps. One amazing ad consisted entirely of titles — one right after another — of popular motion pictures, carefully chosen and arranged to describe the ad placer.

Show them what YOU would want to know. Make a list of the most important things that you would like to know about a person before responding to an ad. Chances are, others would like to know the same about you. If you work, in what field? Have you ever been married before? Do you have children? Are you looking to make some new friends, or do you want find one special person to settle down with for a lifetime? Keep in mind that common goals are often more important in a relationship than individual interests.

Age isn’t everything, but… It is where a lot of people start. Be sure to include your age in the ad; if you do not want to give your exact age, narrow the range: “early twenties” or “mid forties” for example. If you are fifty but feel thirty, say so? If you are looking for someone outside your age range, give a range for the person you seek as well. Keep in mind that some people will be suspicious of a range that seems too wide — such as “twenty to sixty”, and this may limit responses. Likewise, a range too narrow (one to two years) also seems odd. Even those who fall in the narrow range might be hesitant to respond. Stating your age, and avoiding ranges altogether, is generally the best approach.

Describe yourself first. Be careful to avoid creating an ad that is simply a mile-long list of characteristics you seek in another, without saying much about yourself. It is better to let the person reading the ad decide if they might be a match. This does not mean that you should say nothing about what you seek, just don’t overdo it. You do not want to be too picky.

Details, details. How many times have you read a personal ad that states: “I enjoy movies, music, and going out.”? This sentence describes millions of people! The idea is to make yourself stand out from the rest! Instead, name a recent movie that you enjoyed. List some of your favorite music styles, song titles, or artists. If you enjoy going out to Italian restaurants, or line-dancing at a country bar on Saturday nights, say so! Ironically, it is the very details that are often overlooked as being insignificant or boring which in fact add the color and depth necessary for a personal ad to be truly effective.

Honesty is the best policy. Above all, be honest when describing yourself. No matter who you are, or what kind of person you are seeking, you have a better chance of finding that person — and with less disappointment along the way — if you are honest from the beginning.

Your Personal Ad is your Selling Point

Here are four classified ads. Which one would you call?

1. Car. Selling. 555-5555

2. The automobile of your dreams is in my driveway! Come and drive this hot machine. It’s got really neat features and the colour’s pretty cool too. Why am I selling such an amazing car? Because I like you! So come and get this hot rod and drive yourself crazy! Vroom! Vroom! 555-5555

3. Hve cer for sale. Runs good. Nise guy owns. Gotta go cuz I got skool to pay. 555-5555

4. 1999 VW Beetle, silver. New transmission and battery. Very reliable, clean, and attractive. All papers with present owner. Great miles to the gallon, fully loaded, stereo upgrade capabilities. Still under factory warranty. Call 555-5555. Best offer.

These are all ads for the same car.

Assuming you’d like a silver VW Beetle (and if you don’t, substitute a car you would like), chances are that you’d prefer ad # 4. It’s honest, descriptive, confident, not pushy, not flashy, and not unga-bunga caveman stupid. This is how you successfully sell any item, including yourself. See where I’m going with this?

If you’re trying to sell yourself, say more than your name, country of origin, and age. Tell prospective mates about your personality, what you like, and what you won’t accept. The thing is to create interest in you! Make yourself sound attractive and intriguing.

Here’s another way to put it: The personal ad is a resume. When applying for a job you hand in your resume. The person sifting through all the applications will pick out the ones that sound best and are best presented. The successful resume lists the person’s greatest attributes first: we’re all in a hurry; the interviewer wants to see what you’ve got as quickly as possible. The ones that meet requirements are called in for an interview. From there the best person is picked for the job. If it is discovered at any time during or after the hiring process that the person lied on their resume, the applicant is immediately disqualified.

With a personal ad you are applying for the job of Mate. You have to put together a personal resume that shows off your qualities in the best possible manner. This should be needless to say, but unfortunately it isn’t: first of all, say something! Don’t just spit out a couple of meaningless words. Write quite a bit about yourself and what you’re looking for. List your best attributes first. Do not lie about your situation, looks, or personality; you will be found out immediately, waste your time and theirs, create bad feelings and a bad reference. Remember: there are no wrong qualifications; you’re just trying to find a good fit. As far as interests go, list mature activities that can be done with others (i.e., no video games!). You’re trying to find a mate; don’t act like a loner.

And for heaven’s sake: learn spelling and grammar! People, the amount of personal ads out there that have shoddy, pathetic, and senseless writing is unbelievable. Who would want to be with someone too stupid to even write a decent sentence and too careless to realize that this is the hook with which they’re trying to catch their big fish? No one’s expecting you to be Shakespeare, but writing that wouldn’t even make it in a children’s book is unacceptable. There are plenty of smart people out there that can read and write. Chances are that you know some. When your happiness is at stake, there’s no room for ego: get them to help you with your ad. If you don’t know what to write, never mind how, ask your friends. Ask those who care about you to tell you about you. This will open your eyes to qualities you may have forgotten, and perhaps a few you should get rid of.

Differences between how Men & Women view Personal Ads

When writing your ad, you should keep in mind that men and women respond differently to personal ads. Men respond to personal ads more than women. Therefore, an ad from a woman receives more responses than an ad from a man

According to our own statistical analysis as well as a study done at Northwestern University, we have found a few trends that bear paying attention to when writing your ad.

Men

First, men are much less selective when responding to ads than women. If a male browses 10 ads he wants to respond to, and probably sends a message for all 10, hoping for a good percentage of email backs. Men play the odds. They feel that the more ads they respond to increases their chances of getting a response back.

Also, men tend to be more inclusive. If an ad says that a woman is looking for a gentleman in his thirties, a man who is 42 but considers himself to look and feel like a thirty year old will respond.

Therefore, women can and should be more specific when writing their ads. It pays to be as descriptive as possible. The more specific you are about who you are and the person you’d like to meet, the better quality the responses you’ll get.

Women

Women, on the other hand, are much more selective and exclusive. If a female browses 10 ads, she is more likely to send a message for 5 or 6 of them.

If a woman reads an ad that says the man is looking for a “cute, petite, shapely, young looking, thin, etc., type lady,” he is likely to not get many responses — if any.

A woman might reject a guy just because he says he prefers blondes, thinking what he is really saying is that if you’re not blonde, forget it. Men should be a little less specific when describing their preferences. One wrong word and you may be out of the running. Remember though, to always be honest!

Understanding how women perceive themselves and knowing what “red flag” words not to say will go a long way in getting a better response from women. Don’t focus on physical attributes. Avoid these bad words: slim, shapely, etc.

Mr. “Wrong”

GOOD LOOKING-FIT SWM, 6’1″, 175 lbs., 30, sexy, fun, great sense of humor, enjoys reading, running, dining out, movies, not into bars, drugs or big egos, seeks attractive/cute, curvy, slender SWF who is independent, loving, emotionally available and with a positive attitude. NS. Take a risk and write me.

Mr. “Right”

TRUSTWORTHY SWM 35 6′, 190, blonde/blue eyes, clean cut, NS, good shape, love kids, outdoors, camping, sports; good sense of humor, movies, quiet times at home, old fashioned values; loving, caring, affectionate, seeks honest, long term relationship. No games please.

Be creative…

SWF SEEKS MALE LEAD for real-life drama/comedy; must play opposite 5’9″ slim, 29 year old West Coast type. Scenes include beach-going, dancing, antique-hunting and drives to the coast. Practice your lines and write me.

Show your personality!

LIFE IN HELL. Wanda seeks Binky. SWF, 30, intelligent, funny, earthy, cynical as hell. Into anything outdoors (hiking, biking…) film, music, reading, conversation, seeks SWF 20s-30s who’s intelligent, attractive & active for adventures before dentures.

The Basics of Ad Writing

Capture Attention.

Use a Catchy headline—a catchy headline will make your ad stand out. Be bold, creative, whimsical, passionate or humorous to catch their eye. “Ravishing Redhead” or a “Radiant Blonde” has more impact than “Attractive Female.”

Describe Yourself.

Who are you? First, start with some of the basic descriptions such as what you look like, marital status (single, divorced or widowed), sex, age and — if important — ethnic or religious background. Include aspects you feel are important. Keep it short. Don’t waste your time telling your life story. No one reads an endless ad. You’ll have time to elaborate in your email exchanges. Stick to the basics and leave a little something to the imagination… but not too much.

Describe who you want to meet.

Make sure to list the ideal age range, education, etc… of your potential mate. Also, describe what you like to do. What are your hobbies and interests? What are your political, religious, social or moral values? If any of these are important to you, mention them in your ad.

Describe what you like to do.

Be specific. Don’t be generic or vague. Avoid cliches like “fun-loving” or “long walks on the beach.” Who doesn’t like long walks on the beach? What kind of museums or music do you like? What type of sports, radio stations, restaurants, food, plays, movies, directors, TV shows, nightclubs or other activities do you like? And, if you really do like long walks, what beach do you like to walk? Also, if you’re adamant about certain issues like smoking, pets, or children you should mention it.

Describe some of the things you’d like to do together.

What are some of the activities you would like to share with a potential mate.? Are you athletic? Do you run? Play tennis? Racquetball? Do you like to listen to live music or go to the opera? Remember, it’s easier to envision be with someone if you can envision the things you’ll do with them.

Show your personality and sense of humor.

Be creative. Develop a selling point. If you have a good sense of humor, don’t just say so, prove it! Most of all, make sure the ad reflects your personality.

Be honest!

There’s a common misconception that all those ads in the personals aren’t true, or worse, that they’re all made up. Not true! The people who have the most success through the personals are people who are sincere about who they are and what their intentions are from the start. If you are sincere about meeting someone, it won’t do you any good to mislead people by falsely representing yourself. Create an ad that will encourage the right people to respond – people who you want to meet.

Capture attention.

Last, but not least, capture the attention of your reader. Try to make the first phrase of your ad the most interesting and memorable. In doing so, you’ll make your ad easier to find when the reader is deciding to which ad he/she will respond.

Photo

A picture speaks a thousand words. Let’s face it, appearances are important. If people can find out that they are or aren’t attracted to you sooner rather than later, it is a plus. We’ve made it easy for you to attach the photo in your ad, simply follow the upload photo link in the members site.

Ok, let’s recap:

Capture attention.

Describe yourself.

Describe who you want to meet.

What do you like to do?

What would you like to do together?

Show your personality and sense of humor.

Be honest!

Sample Letter that Don Diebel uses to respond to Personal Ads

Here’s a letter I used to respond to personal ads to successfully meet and attract women like crazy:

Hi!
This letter is in response to your recent “personal” ad. Your ad really captured my attention and you sound like someone I would like to really like to get to know better. In order for you to get to know me better, here’s a little bit about myself:

I am a single financially secure businessman, 1947 model, low mileage, high performance. Bumped a few times, but never wrecked. Proven ability to hug the road and not wander off course. Exterior in mint condition, warm, affectionate, sensitive interior, never soiled. Factory equipped package includes stereo, humor, depth, imagination and intelligence. Radio picks up all kinds of rock and classical. Spacious seats with plenty of room for passenger…runs on high-octane fun and romance, lifetime supply included.

Available for inspection by female drivers only, prefer affectionate woman, no dependents, eye-catching exterior, self-confident, intelligent, warm, sincere with sense of humor and full set of tools.

I come from a close solid family, would like to have little Toyotas some day. Equipped with nice endowment. Only driven once a week by little old lady to/from church. To arrange test drive, please write or call me at 802-484-2425 (anytime). HAPPY MOTORING!

P.S. Feel free to modify this letter to use for yourself. Try it…it works like crazy!

Writing your Personal Ad today?

Many things that we do in life require some effort, creativity, and imagination. Composing a personal ad is no exception. Your ad should reflect who you are, honestly, and the type of person you are seeking as a partner.

You may find it difficult to compose the right ad, one that really reflects both you and the type of person you seek. Don’t be afraid to enlist the help of a close friend.

There are right and wrong ways to compose a personal ad. Let’s look at a few of the wrong ways. Concentrating solely on your appearance or the looks of your ideal partner is one of the personal ad mistakes.

For example: 5’7″, 110 lb. cute, blue-eyed blonde, seeks Tom Cruise look-alike for love and romance. Reply Box 1666

6’4″, 180 lb. body builder seeks Pamela Anderson look-alike to bench press on the beach. Reply Box 2245

Talking about your hobbies or interests, without exposing the person that you are, is another personal ad error. For example: Good-looking male engineer, 5’9″, enjoys music, biking, country drives, seeks single white female, 20′s for friendship and possible long-term relationship. Box 3065

Attractive, petite, youthful, professional female, enjoys the outdoors, nature, walks, water, classical and country music, sports, dining out, dancing, and theater, balanced with quiet times. Seeks single male. Box 2243

Focusing totally on financial or material issues does not give the reader an honest reflection of who you are. For example: Exquisite blonde princess. University educated, intellectual, 34, 5’6″, slim, fun loving. Former model with Mercedes tastes and Jaguar sensuality, looking for that special, generous, sophisticated, and refined gentleman with whom to explore life’s pleasures. Box 7787

Harvard MBA grad, tall, dark, and handsome, late 30′s, divorced, 2 children, owner of global Computer firm with homes in San Diego, Boca Raton and Switzerland, seeks wealthy, jet setting Princess, early 30′s, preferably European, from an affluent family with no children. Box 2596

The major mistake that these three types of ads have in common is that they all focus on the outside rather than on the inside of themselves and of the partner they seek. It’s like that first date where we show our socially correct persona, and are afraid to expose the layers of the individual we are. Many ads seem to take this same direction.

When writing your own personal ad, take the time to write one that expresses who you are, as an individual, your unique qualities and gifts, and what you want from a potential partner. It does not have to be a novel: keep it simple, short, honest, and sincere. Also, don’t rush: No one says you have to write an ad in 5 minutes. It may take you a week with a hundred revisions before you are happy with the end product. However, this effort is worthwhile. Once you have placed an ad based on your inside qualities rather than your outside appearance, you will receive many more serious and sincere responses from potentially compatible people.

Personal ads are not for everyone, but you will never know whether or not they are for you unless you try.

Why should Men run a Personal Ad instead of answering One

by Don Diebel

Have you ever thought about using the personals to meet and attract single women? I, Don Diebel used the personals for many years successfully to meet hot & sexy beautiful women from all over the United States.

For those of you that are confused as to whether you should just run a personal ad or just answer the ads of the women you are attracted to, let me give you some valuable advice:

It’s best to run your own ad instead of replying to women’s ads and here’s why:

1. It really builds up your confidence and makes you feel special when single women are seeking you out. It’s a great feeling checking your email or postal mail and discover all these women wanting to get to know you.

2. There are a lot of single women out there that read the personals of men. And these same women would never think of running their own ad due to feeling embarrassed, but they think nothing of reading your ad and responding to your ad if they are interested.

3. Women tend to get tons of responses to their ad by men. All these men are vying for her attention. There’s just too much competition. It’s better to run your own ad.

4. It’s such an easy way to meet single women. They are seeking you out. It’s nice to have women make the first move for a change. Us guys get tired of having to do all the work to meet women.

5. When you place a photo in your ad and a woman responds, this indicates that she finds you attractive physically. This is a good ego-booster to know someone finds you to be desirable physically.

Why single women don’t list their weight in their personal ads

by Don Diebel

I need to make you aware of something when you are playing the personals to meet single women for love, romance, and a potential relationship. 9 times out of 10 if a single woman doesn’t list her weight in her personal ad, she is very likely to be overweight or even grossly obese. Plus, you need to be aware that when they do list their weight it may be a lie to try and hide the fact that they are overweight.

Of course, if you don’t mind dating overweight single women then it’s not a problem if they don’t list their weight or lie about their weight. And I commend you for the ability to accept a woman as a person and not judge her according to her looks and weight.

But, if you’re picky and desire a slender woman, I would advise you to ignore any personal ads where they don’t list their weight.

Let me make a few comments about men who won’t date single women that are overweight. I really don’t think it’s fair being prejudice towards overweight women. Unless they have a medical problem they can lose that weight and become the woman you desire. Also, overweight single women are hungry for attention and love because they sometimes get passed over in favor of more slender women.

Also, there’s another issue which I don’t think is fair. There are guys that are overweight with big potbellies that only want to date slender and pretty women and are turned off by overweight women like themselves. Well, I think they should take a good look in the mirror and picture how their gross-looking body can turn off single women.

It works both ways. There are a lot of single women who are turned off by overweight potbellied men. If you are overweight, I highly recommend that you get on a healthy diet and exercise regimen to trim down. It will help you to attract and seduce more single women. Besides, it will give you a lot more energy and it’s good for your mental and physical health.

In closing, I highly recommend that you don’t overlook single women that are only 10-30 pounds overweight. This is not that much to lose to get to their ideal weight and when they do lose the weight they will really look hot & sexy and they will be very proud of their body. Plus, women are overly sensitive about their weight and may feel grossly overweight even though they only need to lose 10-30 pounds. This can work in your favor when you show a lot of interest in them. This makes them feel needed and wanted and they will admire the fact that you can accept them as they are even if they are a little bit overweight.

The Art of Profile Writing

by Kathryn B. Lord, L.C.S.W.

In CyberSpace, you are what you write. A well-written profile is the Internet equivalent of Drop-Dead Gorgeous. This is an opportunity not to be missed!

During face to face or phone communication, other clues and cues are present. You can hear the other’s voice tone and cadence, see their body language, smell a person’s individual scent, notice how they dress and present themselves to the world. All those factors and many more flood our senses and help flesh out our mental picture of the other.

Only old fashioned *snail mail* letters come close to the restricted palette of email. And even with *snail mail,* you would have more clues. The author’s handwriting, with their choice of stationery and the writing implement (pencil or perhaps old fashioned fountain pen, black or maybe peacock blue ink), would add to the richness of your image.

With Cyberspace, it’s just letters on a screen. In the most literal way possible, you are only as good as your word.

How you present yourself is who you are.

If you are getting yourself ready to go to meet your future life’s partner, you will likely be taking meticulous care with your presentation. You may be thinking and planning for weeks. Perhaps you are treating yourself to a makeover, spending money and paying attention to how you look, in a way you have not done in years. Maybe you buy several outfits and try them on over and over, trying to get a sense of what presents you the most favorably. Maybe you buy a gift or flowers to show your pleasure to your new love.

You are fastidious, down to the last detail.

This is exactly the attitude that you need to take in writing your profile.

You want the best of you to show. You want to be sure that your buttons are buttoned and your hair is just so. You want to look *fine.* After all, finally seeing that special someone and those first few minutes of direct contact may be the most important few minutes of the rest of your life.

With your Internet matchmaking profile, you have just a few minutes, maybe only a few seconds, to make your impression.

And every second has to count.

The Best Preparation

Educate yourself – get online and start looking at what others are writing. Some sites allow you to look around, even to do searches for potential matches using gender, age and geographical location.

A place to start might be Match.com, reviewed in the April issue of *eMAIL to eMATE.* Try some other sites, too, like Matchmaker.com reviewed below in this issue, and note the differences. Do sites seem to attract a certain kind or class people or a certain age group? Do you feel more comfortable on some sites than on others? Try to identify what makes a difference for you.

Search the profiles, both in the age and gender range in which you are interested, and also, your own age range and gender. Read lots of profiles, and copy and print off the ones that strike your fancy, intrigue you, or the ones that you find offensive or don’t like. Make files of the writings you admire and the profiles you think are poorly written. Collect lots of both. And continue to do so. These word snapshots will be your textbook.

As you read over the profiles that you have printed out, try to form a mental image of the writer, based on his or her words. Ask yourself questions that seem important:

* Is this an honest person?

* Does he/she seem kind

* Does the writer appear angry or depressed?

* Is he/she someone I would want to spend an evening with?

* And then, Why or why not?

Jot down notes about your impressions on your printouts. And ask yourself:

What about the writing led me to think what I did?

You Are In Training

You are in a process of training yourself to read and observe closely. Perhaps never in your life has your ability to sense a person through their writing been more important.

People tell you who they are. On the Internet, they are REALLY telling you, because their words are the only way they have to do it. If you read carefully, what they say, how they say it, and also what they don’t say, you can learn a tremendous amount.

The other side of that coin, that people are telling you all about themselves all the time, is that you have to be open to the information, willing to hear what they are saying.

Computer communication (only words across your screen and no other sensory clues) enhances certain reactions in the reader. Fantasy – your own mind’s tendency to fill in the gaps – happens all too easily, with so little other evidence to prohibit it. If you have a tendency to believe the printed word (if it is written down, it must be so), you are at risk with an email romance.

Learn to read on two levels. Enjoy and believe what your correspondent writes on one level. But on another, more stepped back place, be aware that what he/she presents may not be so. Train yourself to doubt. Remember, no matter how well the two of you seem to click, this person is still a stranger.

Do Your Homework

1. Many of the dating sites offer good tips on profile writing. Dateable.com has a good one. Check out the free advice.

2. As you are doing your research, start thinking about your own profile. You might start a draft. Use your own word processor to write, so that you can think about what you are presenting and polish the final product. You can cut and paste the final version into the space provided in the dating site you chose.

3. Do NOT write your profile off the top of your head, right into the profile space allotted. It’s too easy to make spelling and grammar mistakes that show forever. Too easy to post a sloppy and poorly written presentation.

4. Above all, take this process seriously. You are looking for your life mate.

5. And don’t forget to have fun!

Personal Ad Writing for Gay Men

1 Take some time and think about what you really want, because knowing that sure narrows the field.

2 Describe yourself first. A quick mention of your physical characteristics if you have facial hair, are very tall, very short, very thin or very heavy, otherwise it doesn’t matter. It is not important to give the length, girth or potency of your penis (or other body part) in a personal ad. If you find someone you like, all those things are left to share between you.

3 Tell about your interests – golf, hockey, movies, books (you can’t stay in bed all the time!)

4 Write about why you’re placing an ad and what you hope to get from it.

5 Tell what sort of physical characteristics make you feel sexy.

6 Show us, don’t tell us that you have a sense of humor, show it in your ad.

7 If you’re uncomfortable describing yourself, upload a photo that shows you at your best. If you’re a happy person, upload a happy photo!

8 Be creative! Write a poem, talk about your dog or anything that would make someone want to know more about you.

9 Think about why someone would benefit from knowing you and loving you, then tell about that. You know what you want to know about other people, so tell those things about yourself.

10 Don’t be negative. NEVER say “I’m getting over a relationship where I was dumped and I need a friend to feel better.”

11 Age is only a number and is no reflection on a person’s sexiness or personality. However, if age is important to you, write that you’re looking for a person in a certain age range. Please don’t ask for any man between 18-99. You won’t get replies, as you’re screaming that you’ll take anything.

12 A laundry list of what you’re looking for in another person to satisfy your needs is going to get no response. Remember, relationships are partnerships, even if you’re looking for casual sex. If it’s not good for both, you’re going to be wanking alone.

13 It IS important to let others know if there is a particular type of person you’re looking for. If you want someone who shares a fetish of yours, by all means list it and anything else that you have determined you won’t live without.

14 I can’t say it enough times, if you can’t spell, then use a spell checker. Write your ad in a word processing program and check it and then cut and paste it into your ad. If you don’t know how to cut and paste, write to us and we’ll tell you how. You have one chance at a first impression and if every 3rd word is misspelled, you won’t come across as bright or intelligent, even if you are.

15 Be honest, it’s easier and you don’t have to remember anything.

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